BY BETTY-ANN RUTLEDGE 
Volunteers, Outreach & Training Community
​Hospice Program & Friendly Visiting

In June 2018, 32-year-old Novelette Munroe came to SCHC for grief support following multiple deaths in her life. She accessed various services including one-to-one and group peer/mutual support.  Novelette was able to gain perspective, validation and affirmation of her experiences, and cultivate strength and hope from hearing the stories of others who have “been there”.
 
Novelette's Journey with HPC
 
When we first met Novelette, she shared with us that she was living with the life-limiting illness, Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB). Novelette had been active in the EB community and met many people around the world living with this unique condition. She had also recently lost her best friends, Jessica and Jamie, who were like sisters to her. Losing these beloved friends, along with so many others, was what initially brought Novelette to seek grief support at SCHC and motivated her to volunteer.
 
Novelette was recently told that her condition has worsened, and she was referred to a palliative care doctor. Options for sustaining life with this debilitating disease are limited.  Novelette has seen people she loves go through painful surgeries and treatments to try and prolong life and has made the decision for her own life to focus on the quality of life, not quantity – one of the underlying values of Hospice Palliative Care (HPC). After several conversations and careful consideration, Novelette has now become one of our Hospice Palliative Care clients.

​The Circle of Care
 
Novelette is being followed by one of our RN Palliative Navigators, Tasher and receiving support from our Spiritual Care Coordinator, Diane. The duo has been assisting Novelette and her family with making advance care plans – including decisions about end-of-life care and funeral preparations. Novelette’s mother has been her lifelong caregiver, and she does not want the burden of these difficult decisions to be left to her mother when Novelette dies. Linda, a hospice home visiting volunteer, has also been matched with Novelette. Linda’s experience journeying with many people to the end of life offers comfort and open and honest conversation opportunities to Novelette as she navigates this journey. Novelette is a strong advocate for herself and her care needs and continues to inspire all of us.
 
While receiving HPC services, Novelette remains an active member of our volunteer team. She provides telephone support to bereavement care clients and assisted with our first virtual volunteer training:  Peer Bereavement Support in times of COVID-19.
 
“Losing my friends was like losing my compasses. I had no direction to head towards and no means of getting there. But finding SCHC changed that. I found meaning in my sorrow. I found usefulness in my pain by becoming a Peer Bereavement Volunteer. Suddenly, my pain meant empathy for others. A brand of usefulness that was more for me than it was others. The power in that usefulness keeps me going by giving me something to live for. I now wear my grief as a badge of honour because I belong to a human club that means love as much as it means sorrow. The people I have worked with here have made me feel this way and I am thankful to have them in my corner.”
 
- Novelette, 2020 (Quotation and Story Shared with Permission)
 
Right Care. Right Time. Right Place. 

Registered and allied health specialists with expert knowledge in Hospice Palliative Care, along with professionally screened and educated volunteers, work with people to ensure that they are able to live fully, safely and confidently in the setting of their choice. HPC addresses all the domains of care: physical/medical, emotional, practical, psycho-social, and spiritual for the person living with the illness, caregiver support to family of choice and includes ongoing grief and bereavement support.
 
For more information about the suite of services offered through our Hospice Palliative Care team, please contact 416-847-4111 or visit our website www.schcontario.ca.

BY Tamara Elliott, MSW, RSW
Social Worker/Therapist
SCHC

"I came to the clinic by referral from my doctors, who advised me that I qualify for this program because I had been sexually assaulted. I had reservations because a few years ago I had been referred to a group program in downtown Toronto which turned out to be a really bad experience. The program was run very rigidly and I found myself extracted from participating because I couldn’t attend a specified time frame for an appointment due to a conflict with my work. In the end I was treated like a number to fill a seat without any human compassion for my individual needs and I was simply removed and told I could be placed on another waiting list.

When I came to this clinic last year I was intimidated by that bad experience. I told this to my counsellor, Tamara, who immediately put my mind at ease and reassured me that it would not happen to me with this program. We started the sessions, at first, I was so drained after each session that I simply ended up going to sleep for the remainder of those days. So, we adjusted the frequency of the sessions to give me time to recover my energies.
 
At first it felt like I was talking a lot and not really knowing where I was going with it all, but it just felt good to talk about things that were happening in real time. Tamara offered invaluable insights into my situations as they were fairly complex – from family issues like my brother who lived in his car, and another one who was homeless for a decade; personal issues with my difficult marriage and the terrible effects on my four now grownup children; professional issues with selfish co-workers at one job and a controlling sexual relationship at my other; and my kids’ friendship issues dealing with best friends committing suicide, being shot and killed and the list goes on. All these situations affected me greatly and I was overwhelmed and not able to function well within my various roles.

I remember hearing my counsellor say that it’s a good thing that I didn’t have any addictions because I would be very unwell given all this on top of my childhood trauma. This was very sobering.

At the end of my cycle through this program, I believe I have a deeper, clearer understanding of myself and why I freeze in certain situations and succumb to other peoples’ desires of me. This knowledge helps me lay down my fears and assert myself more directly in these difficult situations. While I have much more work to do in changing my life, I have hope for a better tomorrow. 

Thank you, Tamara, you are an angel walking amongst us with your healing touch!"

- MG, Client of SADVCC

​Our Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Care Centre offers free one-to-one counselling to people who have experienced sexual assault, domestic violence or childhood sexual abuse. Our all-female team of counsellors have several years of skilled experience working with trauma survivors. Clients see the same counsellor for all their sessions so that a trusting relationship can be built over the 18 therapy sessions. Our skilled and knowledgeable counsellors provide confidential and compassionate care to help individuals heal.
 
We serve:

• All genders and sexual orientations
• Ages 12 and older
• With or without OHIP coverage
• With or without immigration status

​TO KNOW MORE: https://www.schcontario.ca/schc-sexual-assault-and-domestic-violence-care-centre.html

This story was shared by Jacqueline Medeiros, George’s daughter.
Both my husband and I have full-time jobs and our kids are in university full-time. When my dad was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s, his doctor at the Toronto Memory program recommended that we find some sort of day program for him. Dad was home alone a lot and he was getting depressed.